


stranger than earth

by Einhorn



Series: Fellow Feeling [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: ADHD, Brief ableist language, Brother-Sister Relationships, Gen, Stimming, brief mentions of past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 23:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4938871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Einhorn/pseuds/Einhorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camdis and Sera discuss a shared oddity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stranger than earth

**Author's Note:**

> I just cant stop writing fics whoops.  
> anyway here's another verse! camdis lavellan. he's a lavellan but he's pretty much rejected everything he's known because of Personal Issues. he and sera are somewhat dependant on each other (he and sera have dpd in this 'verse) and develop a brother-sister relationship through their issues.
> 
> i just……….want to write stimming until the day i die,
> 
> camdis is horrendously adhd (like yours truly) and so is sera in this ‘verse so. woo
> 
> Camdis can be viewed here: http://irlautisticsera.tumblr.com/post/124674235601

It had been a  long  day for Camdis Lavellan. Spending hours and hours in the War Room with his advisors, while important, was not the ideal way to spend one’s day in his opinions. It was much better spent curled up in some quiet corner with a good book--or drinking, which he was on his way to the Herald’s Rest to do now. 

Skyhold was still lacking many things, but a seemingly never-ending supply of booze was not one of them. Cheap beer mostly, but sometimes there was a nice red wine or a sharp hard liquor to burn his throat and warm his belly. He usually shared these drinks with Sera, who had become somewhat of a sister to him. The other elf had been understandably wary of him at first, fearing that Camdis was just another one of those fritzy Dalish that she so resented, but a few good long talk sessions eased her concerns and they became extremely close.

Camdis stepped into the Herald's rest, inhaling deeply the aroma of liquor, warm food, and various other odors, not all of them pleasant. He braced himself for the impending assault of noise upon his poor ears, but to his surprise (and concern) there was naught but light chatter among the tavern's patrons.

Confused, he glanced about. It was nigh near dusk now, prime time for unruly alcoholic activity. But the tavern appeared a barren wasteland in comparison to most other evenings--not even Maryden, the bard that Sera hated so much, was present. The few patrons there were kept their voices down low, as though afraid to be overheard, and some kept shooting glances upstairs.

"What can I get for you, Inquisitor?" Cabot, the bartender, was wiping the counter of the bar lazily with a very dirty cloth, "The usual?" 

Camdis turned to face the dwarf. "Oh--yes," he said, "Tell me--don't you find this all....strange? It is much to quiet here for a rest day."

Cabot ducked down to fetch a glass and a bottle from beneath the bar. "Well," he began as popped off the cork, "Let's just say a proverbial bomb went off."

Camdis raised an elegant black brow. "Proverbial bomb?"

Cabot shrugged thick shoulders. He tipped the bottle over and brown liquid--whisky--began to flow into the glass. "Don't know what--or who--lit the fuse but she--" he gestured upstairs with his other hand, "Went off about two hours ago and has been exploding since. Been quiet for about ten minutes now, but shit, I've never heard such a racket." Drink poured, he corked the bottle and returned it to its place underneath the bar.

Camdis's forehead creased in concern. "Sera? Is she alright?"

Cabot shook his head. "Girl's crazy, I--" he paled when Camdis gave him an angry glare. The dwarf suddenly found a very interesting knot in the wood of the bar. “Sorry, Sir.”

"I'll be taking my leave," Camdis said stiffly as he snatched up his drink, "If I ever hear that from you again, you may be considering a new line of work."

"Yes, Sir," the dwarf stuttered, "Won't happen again, sir."

"Good," Camdis brought the glass to his lips and took a delicate sip, "See to it that you remember."

The elf whirled away from the bar and stalked angrily towards the stairs that would lead him to the upper alcove.  The nerve,  Camdis thought angrily.  I cannot fathom how, even after extensive discussion, there are still yet those who see fit to call her so.  He was just putting his foot upon the first step when a call of "Hey, boss!" interrupted the movement. 

The Inquisitor peered around the banister to glance at the speaker--Bull, who was waving a mug aloft. "Join us," the qunari said, gesturing to the Chargers gathered nearby, "You look like you could use some company." He winked his good eye.

"No thank you, Bull," Camdis shook his head, "I have some important business to attend to." His black eyes flickered upstairs. 

Bull caught where he was looking and set down his glass gingerly. "I was there when she went off," he said lowly, "It was bad. Don't know what caused it, just that it was bad. Cassandra went up there earlier, but I think she made it worse. I'll give her points for trying, though."

"Cassandra?" Camdis said, confused, "I thought the two of them spent most of their days bashing their skulls against one another."

Bull shrugged. "Said she understood what was going on and thought she could help. Not the case, clearly. Came out with a black eye.”

Camdis dragged his palm down his face. "Oh, Cassandra, Maker bless your heart. Please tell me Cole stayed away from her at least."

"Managed to grab the boy's shirt and stop 'im in his tracks. Said that he'd do more harm than good this time--listened to me, thankfully." Bull rubbed his chin, "Considered going up there myself with a big bottle of something, but alcohol would've made it worse."

"You're quite right," Camdis sighed, "I have begun to be concerned that she's beginning to become a bit of an alcoholic."

Bull nodded slowly. "I'll watch her if you need me to, Boss. I know you care for her as a sister." 

At least there are a few yet who do not dare to insult her mental state,  Camdis thought, and a wane smile split across the elf's face. "Thank you, Bull. Now if you'll excuse me, I suppose I should be a brother and go care for my sibling." 

"No problem," Bull grabbed his tankard once more and took a swig, "See you on the Approach. I'll be going ahead with my crew to scout the fortress tomorrow."

"I will see in a week or so’s time, then," Camdis bowed, "Don't get all excited and assault Adamant without us."

Bull chuckled. "Can do. Go on, then." He returned to his drink and turned his head to converse with the Chargers, who had respectfully averted their ears from the conversation.

Camdis graced the group with a wave before resuming his journey upstairs, bare feet making little sound upon the wood. The upper floor was just as barren as the first, with only a lone man smoking a pipe sitting in a corner. A quick glance at Sera's room showed him the door was closed--with several arrowheads poking out from inside. 

He stopped before the closed door, hesitant. Considering he had very little idea as to Sera's actual mental state--Cabot and Bull's descriptions of a bomb going off were worrying--he had to tread carefully, so as not to light another fuse. Sera's issues regarding trust were still apparent, and a wrong movement or wrong word would send her all the way back to square one again.

Camdis waited a few moments, listening for any sorts of sounds from within. All seemed quiet, except for a series of muffled angry sounding thuds followed by a low growl and the thump of a body hitting pillows. Then the rustle of fabric and the stomp of thick boots upon the floor, the angry sound of someone who just could not sit still.

Suddenly those times on the road where Sera would pace until dawn because she couldn’t fall asleep made much more sense. Being someone who frequently found himself frustrated by the inability to pay attention to many things, Camdis found himself sympathizing with the girl. 

A shout of frustration and the tinkle of shattering glass sounded from behind the door before all was quiet again. It remained so for several minutes, and Camdis took this as a chance to knock upon the door. 

There was no answer for a moment. Camdis knocked again, and this time the door was promptly wrenched open to bring him face to face with Sera.

"What?" She snarled, voice trembling ever so lightly. The elf looked exhausted; black shadows rested underneath dull eyes, and her ears were drooping. "Oh, it's you." She grumbled when she realized who it was, voice going down an octave.

"It's me," Camdis said quietly, "Are you alright?" He took a quick glance down at the girl's feet and noted that she was rapidly shaking her left leg up and down, the limb not at all pleased that it had to be still. 

Sera scowled when she saw where he was looking. The leg stilled immediately, but the twitching movement moved to her hands instead. The doorknob Sera held in her right rattled along with the tremors shooting through her fingers, creating a colossal racket.

"I'm  fine ," she spat, "Leave me alone."

Camdis shook his head. "You can trust me, Sera," he said quietly, "I'll listen, if you want to talk."  I've been here,  he thought,  Oh, have I ever been here.

Sera's knuckles went white as she gripped the knob hard. "Whatever," she said sourly, voice rising an octave, "S'pose you say that because we're  siblings  or whatever now."

Camdis's brow furrowed. "I want to help you, Sera. I understand what you're going through. Can't pay attention to anything, can't sit still no matter how hard you try?"

The other elf bit her already raw lips. "Right," she said, shoulders tensed, "Forgot that....forgot that you've got this weird head shit too. Right." Her left hand--the one not holding the doorknob--lifted hesitantly and she gave it a little shake.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Camdis offered. "I know some things that help with...help with all of it. Asides from taking potions and concentration spells." 

Sera shuddered violently when the word “spells” was uttered. “ No on that second bit there. Don't know about talking neither, can't sit frigging still. Worth a," she hesitated, "Worth a shot though. I guess."

"May I come in then?" Camdis asked carefully. This was the tricky part--Sera's room was not so much of her room sometimes as her  territory , and if you dared to enter that territory without permission the results were sometimes disastrous. Full-on snarling and hissing and snapping of teeth, more lioness than elf as per one of Bull's comments. 

"Well, there's pissing glass all round the floor and I don't have the tankards to clear it up, so at your own risk, yeah?" Sera groused, stepping away from the door to allow Camdis in with a huff, "Don't go cutting your pretty elfy feet now." She snorted, and immediately went to flop face down onto the pillows of her window seat. Her legs dangled over the side and she kicked them rapidly up and down as she grumbled to herself. 

"Thank you, Sera," Camdis said gracefully as he shut the door behind himself. "Now then, what exactly are you feeling?"

Sera did not reply to him for a full five minutes. Camdis sat down next to her and put his hand on the girl's shoulder in an attempt at a comforting gesture, but it was quickly shrugged off. The elf resigned himself to just sitting quietly until she was ready. He hummed tunelessly and twisted his hands in his lap, waiting. He’d noticed her doing the same thing sometimes, when nobody was looking of course. 

"Bad," Sera said finally, pulling her face out of her pillows, "Like I drank too much coffee. And booze. Head's heavy. Don't know if I'm real. Bit bonkers, too." Then she squints. "Everything feels  wrong . 

“Wrong?” Camdis prodded gently, “In what way?”

Sera waved her hands around. “Just...wrong! Makes my hands twitch kind of wrong. Can’t touch nothing without feeling like my guts are gonna chuck up.” She shivered. “Ugh!”

Camdis smiled weakly. “I’m sorry about that. Is there anything I can do?”

Sera shook her head rapidly; no. “Best to just ride it out. Happens, sometimes. When ‘m stressed, or feeling mad. Lots happens when my brain feels mad--not just angry-mad.”

“Sera,” Camdis said suddenly, “Have you heard of the concept of stimming?”

“You what?” The elf’s brows rose, almost disappearing in her golden hair. “Whassat?”

“Stimming,” Camdis repeated, “Stimulating. It helps, I’ve found, with people like us whose heads run faster than our bodies. You like to shake your hands, don’t you?”

Sera squinted at him. “Yeah? What’s that--oh!” She gasped a little, then laughed aloud. “Yeah! Feels really good, that does.”

“I do this,” Camdis nodded at his hands--still twisting in his lap, squeezing and relaxing to squeeze again, wrapping his fingers around his palms and then letting go, threading his fingers together and grasping at the back of his hands. “It helps me concentrate when some part of me is moving. Same with shaking my legs, which I noticed you were doing earlier.”

Sera looked away. “Don’t like that one,” she said quietly. “Got me in trouble, that.”

Camdis winces.  Emmauld again. I am beginning to loathe than woman as much as she does.  “Well, it won’t get you in trouble here,” he attempted to reassure her, “You can bounce your legs all you want, I won’t stop you.”

Grey eyes glanced back at him. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Camdis put on his best smile, “Nobody’s going to stop you here. I’ll make sure that nobody gives you any sort of shit for it, alright? At least try it again for a while. If anyone gives you a funny look, kick ‘em between the legs.”

Sera sniggered, “Right, you are. But I,” she bowed her head down, “I’m still, still unlearning piss put in me by  her . Just need some time, yeah?”

“Some time,” Camdis agreed, “You’ll have plenty of that. We’re leaving with Dorian and Cassandra to meet up with Bull and his Chargers to assault that fortress the Wardens have a hold in two days’ time. You can shake and bounce and skip all you want on the way, that sound good?”

“Guess,” Sera mumbled, “Don’t just need that kind of time, though.  Time  time. Gotta convince my head that it’s not all wrong and bad.”

“And I get that.” Camdis’s hand hovered over her shoulder, asking for permission to touch her. She gave in, and leaned in to tuck her head underneath his chin. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. “You’re good, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sera breathed, “Good. I, uh….thanks.”

It was Camdis’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “For what?” he asked of her.

“Helping me calm down,” she inhaled through her nose, taking in the scent of the cinnamon perfume Camdis always wore behind his ears. “Was pretty bad, there.”

“You’re welcome, Sister.” Camdis smiled at her. “We’ll get you through this, one day at a time.”  One day,  he thought.  One day, you won’t need to shrink or hide. One day, you’ll take pride in who you are. Not that you’re an elf--no. That you’re you.

** He held her tight.    
**

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could settle on formatting + writing style, but I love varying my writing and I just. what is formatting. pls help


End file.
